If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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