I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Randomize
