I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
