I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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