Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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