chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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