I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Be still, my beating vagina.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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