ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
