I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize