nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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