You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
