Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize