She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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