Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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