She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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