Your tits are I can't wait for
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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