hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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