fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
