he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My feet surprised me
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize