Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
