It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
