Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
