The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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