Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
