No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
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Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
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I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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