This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
