the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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