How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
