I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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