It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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