if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
