She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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