dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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