Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
