Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
