I take back everything I said about communal showers
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
