Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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