Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
