have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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