I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
