the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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