So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
