So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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