she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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