Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
