READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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