He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
