in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
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