You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
