I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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