listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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