Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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