Well douche your snatch and let's go!
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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