if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
