Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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