Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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