please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
