for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
