Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
