Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
