They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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