I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
