Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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