I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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